#011 - The other side of the coin
Why setting a goal isn't all you need to do.
Hi there,
This is the first newsletter edition of 2023 and already we are 5 days into the year and it feels like the pace of life has picked back up again. I was working between Christmas and New Year but already there has been a lot of demand on my time. I hope you are settling back into a routine. This week I offer a quote, some thoughts on why setting a goals isn’t the only thing you need to do and finally I offer another 4 powerful questions to help you work through either your own personal challenges, or a challenge at work.
Inspiring Quote
This weeks inspiring quote comes from a book I got for Christmas. I am only about 15 pages in and already I know I am going to love it. The book is “Will”, the Will Smith Autobiography.
“Stop thinking about the damn wall!” he said. “There is no wall. There are only bricks. Your job is to lay this brick perfectly. Then move on to the next brick. Then lay that brick perfectly. Then the next one. Don’t be worrying about no wall. Your only concern is one brick.” - Will Smith
This quote comes from a story Will Smith is describing about his dad forcing him and his brother to rebuild a wall when he was a young person. The task was momentous and took a whole year. Naturally, Will talks about his feelings of hate for the task and was moaning about it one day when his dad comes up to him and tells him to stop thinking about the damn wall.
This really hit me and I instantly could relate. All too often in my career, and personal life, I have felt that some tasks have been “too big” or “too complex”. I have gotten focused on how hard something is going to be to the point that I have put off actually getting started. Or even when I have started it, I have been consumed by how much work is needed. But by breaking the task down into small repeatable actions, and committing to taking regular action, the task seems manageable. That is what Will writes about, focus on the brick and laying that one brick. Laying it isn’t hard but doing so creates momentum.
Goals and Resolutions
The New Year is a time that traditionally people set New Year’s Resolutions. We make pledges to change something in our life. A commitment to doing more or less of some things while vowing that we will “stick to them this year”. A few weeks ago I shared a framework for feeling content over the next year (you can find that here). I know that for some people, the belief that setting an intention is all you need to do and the universe will provide is very appealing. Now, I don’t disagree with this but I do think there are some other steps that are needed. Everything in this world that isn’t natural (i.e plants, animals, the mountains and rivers) was at one point a vision of someone. Every building was once a dream, teams were once someone’s vision for a service to be provided. But if just thinking about these things was all we needed to do, frankly I would have a lot more financial stability and would be living in a bigger house!
So what needs to happen? Well once you have set your goal or intention, you need to understand what that means in reality. For example, if I have a goal to have all my care plans written and be organised with the write up of my visits for my caseload, I need to know what that looks like in reality. It is possible to achieve but I need to know that to achieve this goal, I am going to have to say no to some things. I am going to have to say no to picking up new cases and am going to have to be prepared for difficult conversations about who is going to do Duty when a colleague is off sick. If I am serious about my goal to have all my visits written up, I need to be brutally honest about how I am spending my time and work out an approach that fits with my schedule.
Can you see how just setting a goal, without working out a plan, is not going to move you closer to accomplishing your intentions? Now, this isn’t easy in Social Work (or any other job) but it is essential. It will mean having boundaries with yourself.
Let’s use a different example. Let’s say that my goal is to lose weight. Well, losing weight isn’t a great goal on it’s own. I would need to get specific. How much weight do I want to lose, why do I want to lose it and when do I want to achieve that by? These questions help us get specific about what we are trying to achieve. We can then look at what am I going to have to say no to to achieve this goal? So, I would need to stop eating sugary snacks? I would potentially need to say no to drinking alcohol, or getting takeaways? I would need to say no to the urge to just eat pizza without any salad. My portion sized would need to be regulated. I would probably benefit from being more active so I would need to say no to sleeping in rather than going for a walk. All these behaviours move me towards my goal.
But what comes with this is accountability. I need to be accountable for my actions. I need to have time to reflect on whether my actions are aligned with my goals and therefore, it helps to have your goal shared with someone. It might be a partner or close friend for personal goals, or my manager/colleague for work related goals. But by sharing them, you add in a layer of commitment and accountability. Which in turn gives you the best chance of succeeding in achieving what you set out to achieve. And isn’t that true for the advice we give to the people we work with in our work lives??
4 Powerful Questions
These questions are designed to help you through either a personal challenge, or even use with families and people we work with.
What outcome would be ideal?
This question focuses the mind on what the goal you are trying to achieve is.
What has contributed to your success so far?
I love this question because it is rooted in positivity. Rather than dwelling on negative things, this questions asks you to identify areas that are positive which reframes your mind to be aware of the positive over the barriers.
What could you do differently?
This question starts to explore the options available to you. It helps you to look inwards about your own actions rather than looking externally to validate your challenge. It helps you to build an action plan.
What do you need to do right now?
This question build in urgency. We know that the sooner we can take actions towards our goals, we increase the likelihood of carrying through with the plan.
That brings us to the end of this weeks newsletter. I hope you have enjoyed it. Last week, I announced that I am working on developing a workshop for people who are experiencing burnout, or would like to develop personal strategies to prevent burnout. If you know anyone who may be interested, can I please ask that you share this newsletter with them. Finally, it would be great if you could share this newsletter within your network, either by sending the link within an email, or sharing it on Social Media.
If nobody has told you this recently, you are amazing and you make the world a better place for everyone who comes into contact with you.
Much love,
Anthony
Scheduled to share on my social media today! https://www.facebook.com/Yournatureukx/
Thanks for this blog - I am really enjoying it.
Would love to catch up soon!